Month: January 2017

Self-Soothe

I was becoming invisible, my body paling to the white sheets. As I lay on the hospital trolley, unable to move or speak, all I had was my mind. The strength of my thoughts and the images they created could take me anywhere. As I felt my heart sinking and tears pooling at my eyes I knew I needed to change direction. I focused on my breath. It gave me perspective. What was I feeling and where was it coming from? I felt utterly worthless. The actions, or lack of actions, by others during a time of acute illness in A&E had triggered an inner story; a deep seated belief that I knew to be untrue, yet at that moment I was compelled to believe.Read More

Reflections on Retreat

It was a dark winter’s afternoon and I was surrounded by fields in rural Suffolk. I’d lost all sense of where I was when I embarked on my first meditation retreat, but the centre soon enveloped me in its gentle and calm atmosphere. I was at Vajrasana, part of the London Buddhist Centre, in the state of the art ‘intelligent’ building that opened in 2016. Communal spaces, bedrooms and meditation spaces surrounded peaceful courtyards. Each way I looked, a picture was framed by the architecture, changing with the light and dark, and the misty fog that seemed to shroud us until our final afternoon.Read More